I don’t isolate myself. I seek solitude to find respite from social overwhelm.
Withdrawal. Society tends to view withdrawal as a bad thing. It is not. Or rather, it doesn’t have to be. There are times when withdrawal is a need. Sometimes even a life-saving necessity.
This has been true for me. Not the life-saving bit. It was not quite that dramatic yet, but I’d definitely had enough. More than that.
My opera performance and the rehearsals that came before that. The holidays. All the peopling. It was fun, but taxing. And I found myself exhausted.
So I withdrew. Because I had to.
Cooking, which is one of my passions, became a burden. Writing, another of my passions, felt impossible. And so this website lay forgotten. Or so it must have seemed to you, my readers.
I did not forget. I was simply unable to take care of its needs. I had to take care of my own needs first.
This is one of the ordeals that come with having a chronic condition. You can’t always predict when your battery runs out and you have to take a break – for heaven only knows how long.
I’m trying to get back into the flow. And I promise I will be back. But even as I’m writing this, I’m sitting here on the couch. Ingredients for several meals in the kitchen. Untouched. And I can’t bring myself to get up and prepare anything at all.
Social engagements cancelled. Staying in bed never seemed so enticing.